sugar can eat a dick

right now sugar is totally like that guy that you really liked for a while and then you heard him say something really boring or stupid at a party and now when you see him out on the street you don't even look twice and think, "i'm embarrassed i told my friends i thought you were funny."

i can say that much for the south beach diet, it took my love for sugar and pummeled it into submission. despite an unfortunate run-in with jell-o shooters this weekend, i've been dessert free (for the most part).

alcohol never left, which is sort of too bad. (wait, what am i saying? too bad for who? it's been great for me so far!)

i think i look less pregnant, so i'm fairly happy with the results. i need to get one of your fancy digital scales, lachie. right now i'm sort of relying on the amount of whistles on the street to tell me if i look better. it's not a very scientific method. especially not on the days where i wear my gold hot pants.

Status? (coal)

Hey guys,

What's the deal? It has been 2 weeks, how is the south beach diet working for you? Which version of Star Jones do you look like?

the death of me

I have no willpower.

you know my pain is real, i've spoke of it to you.

I had my first weight lifting session today. I have decided to throw two strength training sessions in with my three running sessions.

I have made it through the first week, 97% on the program (3am pizza slice on Saturday night, whaddygonnado?). I feel more or less ok. Still hungry much of the time, but not in a way that feels overly intense or uncomfortable. Just not satiated. God, I love being satiated.

one week, seven days

has the south beach diet broken me? no. have i eaten things from the forbidden list? yes... but not much. i have had roughly one day's worth of sugar in a week, and possibly two days worth of carbs.

i stopped eating a snack at 9pm, and i only drank twice this week. quitting drinking is definitely way harder than any other thing so far.

if someone could give me some kind of south beach approved alcohol, i would be forever grateful. i don't think rubbing alcohol is on the "forbidden" list.

The Biggest Loser

I am currently watching the two hour season premiere of the Biggest Loser. It is awesome. I am watching it instead of reading my kinesiology textbook. It is not awesome.

So the first two days have been pretty good. I have a vague headache all the time, which I imagine happens when one does not satiate oneself with octople cheeseburgers and buckets of soda. My first day looked like this:

running 30 minutes at 7AM!

BREAKFAST
Granola and skim milk with a banana and almonds
coffee with skim milk

SNACK
1 nectarine
small bag of almonds

LUNCH
chicken pasta salad with w/w rotini, broccoli, and balsamic dressing

SNACK
2 plums
Kashi granola bar

DINNER
chicken veggie stir fry on brown rice

Instead of ordering a pizza like I wanted to right before bed, I have a cup of green tea. SUCK ON THAT, ID!

It's time for a new beginning

Weigh in: 242lbs!

The Plan: Bob Green's Best Life Plan (yikes)

Phase One (Four weeks):
-get some exercise, you cheeseburger eating slob.
-eat three regular meals a day and 1 to 2 (definitely 2) snacks.
-completely avoid alcohal, pop, trans fats, fried foods, white flour, high fat dairy.
-no eating two hours before bed.
-take a multivitamin, you malnourished schlub.

And that is basically it. I decided to go with good old Bobby Green's plan, because it sounds more like how I would ideally live if I wasn't so into consuming incredible amounts of shit. It may be a less drastic pound loss, but I think if I can keep it up, it will be the better choice. Plus the South Beach diet food sounded icky.

As for exercise, I am committing to running three 30 minutes sessions a week, and strength training two days a week. Later in the month, I might join the Queen's Tae Kwon Do club like I am 12 years old.

Oh, and tomorrow is my first day of professional graduate school. I have spent the last week doing things like going to corn mazes and going on pub crawls. I am in an undergrad university town surrounded by jabronis. It should be an interesting month.

i have a headache

maybe this will fix it.

Start today!

Can you tell the difference between these two models? One is me now, one is me in a month or so.

I officially started the South Beach diet today. For two weeks I will shun the advances of sugar (even fruit) and carbs. I don't imagine it's going to be fun, but it's 10am and so far so good. UGH. I already wish it was 12am on Thursday, September 24th.

Anyway, this is kind of my hail mary effort to lose the 10 pounds that I put on this past year of touring, so if it doesn't work, I guess I will just have to lose weight through exercise or something ridiculous.

A picture is worth a thousand double cheeseburgers.

Next week is going to be tough.

They’re the black sheep of modern day society

I just ate a Guinness braised lamb shank. I am really living it up in the days before I give up meat and beer.

Girth Crisis

I cant believe another year has gone by and still nothing, as if we dont even try and theres nothing to be proud of and nothing you can truly stand by Its Time To Believe

And if you really want to eat something,
were we ever really eating something?

I am drinking a pepsi for breakfast. I pray to fucking god I don't od on that shit. It's the last time I start a day this way.

A MOMENT ON THE LIPS, FOREVER ON THE HIPS!

after years of consuming more beer than is necessary and the accompanying hangover breakfasts, we have come to the conclusion that we are all fat.

watch a bunch of aging punks lose weight right before your eyes! as much as i will my miss my substantial beer gut, i understand that i had to either bring the baby to term or go on the south beach diet.